Τρίτη, 29 Δεκεμβρίου 2015

I have just discovered that my homophobe dad is gay / 90-year-old gay man talks about coming out at 70














I mean, if he is gay, why is he married to my mom and why does he hide it?




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This thing just blew my mind when I found it to be true. My parents have hated gays since I can remember and I have been educated in the same spirit for my entire life. I have always been told by my father that gays are an abomination and that they don’t even deserve to be called human beings. It all got worse lately, since the legalization of the same-sex marriage in increasingly more states and countries. It was all that my father was talking about.




I have never really had anything against gay people in the same manner as my father – vespa.rocks

I have always thought that he was somewhat right. I never felt like it was natural for two men or two women to sleep with each other. I still don’t see how could this be according to the laws of nature. But on the other hand, I have never really had anything against gay people in the same manner as my father. But I could understand his behavior and opinions in that regard. I have never shared his views all the way thought. I always considered that what people chose for themselves in matters of happiness and love, should only be their concern. I didn’t see why would I care if anybody was gay or not, as long as it did not affect me in any way.
However, there are few people that I found to be that decisive in going against one class such as my father is towards gays. He even participated in some anti-gay rallies in our hometown.
Now the awkward part is that I have found out something about him that completely confused me. Now I do not know what to think anymore.




dad is gay
Today I have checked my father’s phone and he had a lot of messages from a certain Mark – inmendoza.com

A couple of days ago I was hanging out with my friends at a nearby restaurant and a car stopped. I just happened to look that way when the door opened and I saw my father coming out from the car. The driver was a man and my dad bended and kissed him on the lips. It was a passionate kiss that could not have been mistaken for anything else other than what it was. I was perplexed and I remained in denial for a day or something. I kept telling myself that maybe I have seen it wrong. But today I have checked my father’s phone and he had a lot of messages from a certain Mark. Some of those messages were explicit to say the least.
I am still confused by the entire situation and I don’t know whether to tell him that I know everything and ask for the truth or just let it go and see what will eventually turn out. I fear that this could ruin my parents’ marriage and our family and I am really concerned about this aspect.




I fear that this could ruin my parents’ marriage and our family and I am really concerned about this aspect –time.com

I do not see how could, a man who has been against gays his entire life, be a gay himself.  And I still do not know why would he keep that appearance if the truth contradicts him. I mean, if he is gay, why is he married to my mom and why does he hide it?


Διαβάζοντας το παρακάτω άρθρο σκέφτηκα πολύ.... Σκέφτηκα πόσοι άνθρωποι γίνονται δυστυχισμένοι εξαιτίας της ομοφοβίας. Αυτής της εσωτερικευμένης ομοφοβίας που κάνει τους ανθρώπους να φοβούνται να είναι ανοιχτά και περήφανα ο εαυτός τους. Πόσοι ψεύτικοι γάμοι στηριγμένοι σε μυστικά και ψέματα αφορούν ζευγάρια της διπλανής πόρτας "υπεράνω κάθε υποψίας"; Πόσα παιδιά μεγαλώνουν χωρίς ίχνος αλήθειας μέσα στην οικογένειά τους και κάποια στιγμή κάνουν ανακαλύψεις που πονάνε και στοιχειώνουν; Πόσες και πόσοι έκπληκτοι σύζυγοι ανακαλύπτουν κάποτε ότι ο άνθρωπος που θεωρούσαν σύντροφό τους στη ζωή και στο θάνατο ζει μια διπλή μυστική ζωή; Πόσα παιδιά μαθαίνουν με αυτόν και άλλους αντίστοιχους τρόπους που πληγώνουν για τον σεξουαλικό προσανατολισμό των γονιών τους;Μήπως λέω μήπως ήρθε η ώρα όλο αυτό να αλλάξει; Μήπως να μην τρώμε τις σάρκες μας από φόβο και να ζήσουμε την αλήθεια μας; Μήπως λέω μήπως οι συνέπειες θα είναι πολύ λιγότερες από αυτές που δημιουργούνται όταν αφήνουμε σκιές και επτασφράγιστες ανομολόγητες επιθυμίες να φουντώνουν στα σκοτάδια αντί να τις φέρουμε στο φως και να λάμψουν με την αλήθεια τους; Οι καλύτεροι σύμμαχοί μου σε αυτή τη ζωή είναι τα παιδιά μου που δεν τους έκρυψα ποτέ τίποτα -εκτός από μερικά γλυκά στο ντουλάπι για να τα φυλάξω γι' αργότερα- και απάντησα πάντα με ειλικρίνεια σε κάθε ερώτηση που μου έκαναν. Και διαβάζοντας άρθρα σαν το παρακάτω χαίρομαι πραγματικά πολύ...
Στέλλα Μπελιά
http://meaws.com/i-have-just-discovered-that-my-homophobe-…/?


His first gay experience was something strange even for him.


Ninety-year-old Hector Black was recently interviewed by Radiolab and StoryCorps where he related how he has forgiven the man who murdered his daughter. But Black also talked about his long struggle with his sexuality. He knew he was gay since he was young, but he went on marrying and having a daughter whom he loved so much.

Black also talked about his long struggle with his sexuality – pinknews.co.uk

During his college years, in 1940’s when he realized he liked men, homosexuality was not something people would talk about.
“The word gay was never even mentioned, or even homosexual. It was whispered if it was used at all.”
His first gay experience was something strange even for him.
“I thought this is not me. This cannot be me. And I was just horrified. And then, you know, after a few months, I started thinking about it and then I realized that I’d wanted to experience this again. And – and so we became lovers.”
Black had to join the military during WWII, but he did not want to be part of that so he moved to a commune in Paraguay where homosexuality was totally unacceptable so he undergone a treatment with estrogen to “cure” his homosexuality. He started to believe that the treatment worked and he married, but soon after he found himself looking at men again.

It was his beloved daughter who had come out before him. – pinknews.co.uk

But what made Hector Black come out 20 years ago? It was his beloved daughter who had come out before him.
“We both loved her just as much as ever – more even because I knew how much she had been through, how much she suffered because of who she was. And I just said this is it – that I can’t – how can I love her and hate myself for what I am?”
Hector was asked if he regretted the decisions he made and he confessed that for him it all was a life and love experience.
“I don’t really because I think a lot of that – it’s a weird thing to say, but I really think that suffering can be – it certainly isn’t always by any means – but it certainly can be a way of understanding other people, opening.” Hector concluded.

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