Type C: The Really Silly Homophobic Arguments

20. “God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.”

Clearly not a Biology graduate.

21. “If everybody was gay, mankind would cease to exist.”

Ignoring the fact not everyone is gay, and also ignoring the fact gay people can and do have children through donors and surrogates, I actually quite enjoyed the apocalyptic images this argument conjured.

22. “Gay rights are fashionable right now.”

The Suffragettes famously marched together because they needed an excuse to compare clothing. Civil rights activists looked fabulous with hoses and guns turned on them. Nooses around gay Iranian necks are totally “in” right now. We are all mere lambs of our Queen Gaga.

People actually use this argument.

23. “The only people who want gay marriage are the liberal elites.”

If this was really true, how come hundreds of everyday gay people protest outside anti-gay marriage rallies? How come thousands of people voice their support for gay marriage in polls? I do not imagine there are many people who believe they deserve fewer rights or who desire to be second-class citizens.

24. “Gay people do not even want marriage.”

Yes, Ann Widdecombe, we do. We do not appreciate you mischaracterising what millions of us do and do not want, and squaring reality to fit your Catholic bigotry.

25. “Gay people can already get married – to people of the opposite gender.”

This is Michele Bachmann’s demented logic. Yes, gay people can already get married … to people of the opposite gender. No, they are not allowed to marry the people they actually love. This is not just bigotry, it’s also stupidity.

26. “There will be drastic consequences for society if we accept gay marriage.”

Person A: “Have you been to Canada lately? They have free health care, they play hockey, and they’re very peaceful and polite.”

Person B: “That sounds nice.”

Person A: “They have gay marriage too.”

Person B: “Sounds like Sodom and Gomorrah.”

27. “Gay marriage will cause the disestablishment of the church.”

Or to put it another way: “If you don’t stop all this silly talk, we will be forced to go away and leave you in peace.” Scary!

28. “Gay marriage will lead to polygamy/bestiality/paedophilia/etc.”

The truth is that the legalisation of gay marriage will lead to the legalisation of gay marriage. Dire warnings of slippery slopes are scaremongering. In the countries that have so far legalised same-sex marriage, courts have always rejected calls for the legalisation of polygamy.
 
29. “Gay marriage caused the end of the Roman Empire/September 11th/etc.”

The Roman Empire disintegrated as barbarians from the north overwhelmed them, forcing the last Roman emperor, Romulus Augustus, to abdicate to the Germanic warlord Odoacer. This had nothing to do with homosexuality.

The attacks on the World Trade Center were orchestrated by Al-Qaeda, an extremist Muslim group that detests America. The gay mafia was not involved.
 
30. “You are too emotionally involved to make a rational argument.”

Of course I’m angry. Wouldn’t you be if you had to listen to arguments like these? I’m passionate about achieving equality and combating prejudice. But, as everyone should know, passion and reason are complementary.
 
31. “We are in an economic crisis, so we should not be wasting time on gay marriage.”

Is it too much to wish for politicians who can multi-task? And for leaders who don’t consider equality a luxury add on?
 
Conclusion

In an attempt to portray his campaign to “preserve traditional marriage” as reasoned and unprejudiced, the former Archbishop of Canterbury Lord Carey has argued that supporters of gay marriage shouldn’t resort to name-calling and accusations of bigotry. But then he is a homophobe and a bigot. There is not a single one of his arguments that does not imply the lesser state of homosexuals, or serve to justify the discrimination.

In fact the recent government proposals are only for the legalisation of civil same-sex marriage, and do not allow for ceremonies to be conducted on religious sites. It is an entirely secular proposal, yet Carey and various churches and church-goers are keen to make the civil rights of homosexuals their business. Given centuries of religious persecution of gay people it is entirely justified to call Lord Carey, the Coalition for Marriage, Christian Concern, and all other proactive opponents of gay marriage “bigots” and their arguments homophobic.